The Non-Relationship, Relationship.


It’s the most dreaded question at any family or friend function:  “Madison, are you seeing anyone?” My first thoughts include, but are not limited to, “why is this your business”, “do you really want to know”, and “great, go ahead and tell me about my cousin and how wonderful she and her boyfriend are doing”. Not that I’m not happy for the people around me who are in serious committed relationships, I just can’t understand why everyone feels the need to push me in to one. Besides, I am possibly already seeing someone.
I’ve been in a non-relationship limbo with this guy for almost two years. Yes, two years. two years without any commitment laid out on the table. Two years without one single date outside of my house. Two years of feeling one another out, building a solid trusting friendship, and yes there is sex too. In two years we have never met parents or siblings, we have never met friends. Just the two of us, spending time with together. You’re probably thinking, like the rest of my friends, that I need my head examined for ‘putting up’ with this for so long without a commitment or some gesture in that direction. Let me explain this to you. In the time that I have taken to get to know this amazing, smart, funny, caring man I have found more of myself than I ever thought possible. He has taught me patience, self-respect, tolerance, discipline among many other things. He has showed me things about life that I would have never been able to find on my own. And yet, we remain very clear on the fact that we are not in a relationship.
I think it boils down to the simple realization that conventional relationship titles just haven’t worked for either of us in the past. We spend every weekend together, work obligations prevent us from spending more time together right now and that’s OK. you cant rush perfection right?! The time we spend together is of quality. Uninterrupted by phone or friend distraction. Untainted by outside views of our ‘situation’. It’s freeing. It’s exciting. It’s friendship at the most basic level. We share everything with each other. Good, bad and ugly. We laugh together. Cry together. Experience new life happenings with each other.
There is a fear on my part that I’m investing in something that may not work out but at the same time its exciting knowing that I’m approaching this situation differently than I ever have before and I’m happiest I’ve been in YEARS. My point in sharing this with you is this: don’t allow yourselves to be forced in to the conforming ways of society. Society sucks and simply does not understand anything that doesn’t fit the mold that has been made for you. Break the damn mold! Be it in your career, family situations, the way you love or who you love. FIND YOUR HAPPINESS!! Who cares about what it looks like to anyone else. Live your best life.

*photo source

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