She was fourteen. Her delicate framework standing before the looking glass. Simply existing. Through the complexity of her mind, she felt trapped. Tears streaming down her porcelain skin. She felt confined to this body, with every breath breaking free. Her thoughts consumed her again. What the world saw varied from her own vision. She knew it was wrong, but she was too weak to fight. A scared, skeletal silhouette carrying an abysmal secret. Each sunrise gave a new chance at survival. As she grew frail it became more difficult to withstand. She only wanted to disappear. No one understood the battle of mind over body. She had nothing to hold onto. The sea of darkness was closing in. Close to drowning, but she never gave up. She made it to shore.
Although these bones grew stronger, some days I still put up a fight. Fists clenched, ready stance, I give it all I’ve got. Facing the challenges as I go on with my day. I constantly have to remind myself to give my body the things it needs: rest, nourishment and hydration. Sometimes my mind runs away with itself and keeps my body too busy to provide simple things. This is when I struggle the most, when I’m alone and unregimented. When I don’t have to be somewhere or I’m not told to stop, rest and eat, these are my biggest challenges. The mirror used to be my greatest foe, now I can truly say that I am comfortable in the skin I’m in. It has been a long and beaten path, but through every obstacle, every burden, I’ve grown to love myself. It has gotten easier to say “I’m beautiful and have a purpose” and sincerely mean it. I am grateful for those who have loved the worst of me in order to bring out the best of me. Without those anchors, I would’ve never made it. For now I am grounded, still floating along the waves. But I carry on, with the deepest strength I possess and my support. Without you, I’d sink. Thank you for believing in me.
“Life’s roughest storms, prove the strength of our anchors.”