This month has been stressful. I say stressful because it’s October and I’m in college, which for anyone who doesn’t know, it means that midterms are steadily approaching and that means my stress levels are rising. It’s not an unbearable level of stress quite yet, it’s just a nervousness that I won’t meet my expectations which are kind of high or the expectations of those around me. My mom and dad have always believed in me and since I’m their only child together, I sometimes feel that if I don’t do well, I’ll let them down. Though I know that their expectations shouldn’t worry me, I consider them a lot when doing my day to day things, like when I make a bad grade on a test I worry about not living up to the potential that my parents obviously see in me. To combat this I have to sometimes remind myself of what my mom would tell me when i was little “if you’re doing your best then that’s all you can do” and it allows me not be so concerned with being perfect.
Though my whole life I have always and I mean always been the type of person that stresses out when things get rough, it’s sadly one of my personality flaws. When I in high school I struggled with this a lot, so this semester I have started doing assignments earlier so as to lessen my stress levels. I don’t beat myself up over a B anymore, and I’ve learned to accept small victories like making an A on my Biology test or making a B on an Art History test. I have also started incorporating down time into my life like just hanging out with my friends instead of spending hours looking at my French homework and stressing over my pronunciations. Most importantly I am also trying to take time out for just myself which is sometimes just watching a show on Netflix or taking a nap in the afternoon. Taking this time out of my schedule sometimes gives me the piece of mind to get things done and allows me to recharge my batteries.
I think that even though life is stressful and our own expectations and the expectations of others sometime cloud our views of life we have to learn to live in the moment and not ruin every moment worrying about what may or may not happen. I’ve learned that if I worry about getting an A and being “perfect” on everything I’ll miss the excitement that a B can bring. My advice to those of you who are also dealing with midterms or other major exams would be to take everything one day at a time, take time to breathe, it can make a world of difference and that perfection is a human construct. An A, B, C or even D won’t change the fact that you deserve to be happy and to be loved because grades do not define you or me.