Luck was a culmination of being able to balance my body, mind and spirit, and have that time and opportunity to rebuild my self-esteem and heal myself in so many amazing ways. As Hunter S. Thompson once said, “Luck is a very thin wire between survival and disaster, and not many people can keep their balance on it.” Each of those four-leaf clovers was a reminder that I was keeping my balance by just enjoying another imperfectly perfect day, and perhaps that no matter where I stood the grass was always green and a four-leaf clover was smiling up at me.
Over the last few months I have found over 40 four-leaf clovers, everywhere from in my own yard (18 in one day!), to friends’ yards, in parks, and even at places I have hiked. I was not “looking” for these four-leaf clovers, as when I “LOOK” I can never seem to find one. They just seemed to keep finding me! I am a bit superstitious, and so I crossed my fingers every time that each was a sign of good luck to come my way.
My luck has been pretty rough over the last year I would say. I left a job that stressed me to the point of nervous breakdowns and ulcers, anxiety attacks and nightmares, and I stepped off a cliff into nothingness. I had no plan. I had no backup. I did not even know where to start. I just took a leap of faith as some would say.
All I knew is that I wanted to save my health, as well as have more time to be a mother and wife. It is not easy to find that balance in this day and age, especially living in a small state where most people tend to keep their positions until long after their retirement days. Career options and positions are few and far in-between where I live, hours can be harsh and difficult, and travel can be extensive and time consuming.
I found a few irregular jobs to work and these helped, though minutely, income-wise to fill in the gap, of my hard working husband’s income. However the work was never regular and the income was sparse. The places that I applied at did not seem to want to give me a chance to interview, or even a chance to come in and to try and sell myself, the few that did kept telling me I was not the right candidate, and it all discouraged me the more. My self-esteem was taking a beating. What was I to do?
I had to change my perspective, and look on the positive side of the fact that I finally had the time again to be a mother and a wife. Maybe I had been looking over the real four-leaf clover of this whole opportunity!? I now had the chance to get back on a schedule of doing fun things with my child, like Lego club, library time, playing outside and participating more in activities he wanted to do. I had the focus and energy to actually enjoy cooking dinner at a regular hour for my family, and to get other things accomplished around our home. I also had more time to reconnect with myself, reading more, eating healthier and submerging myself more in nature. Nature has always nurtured and healed my body, mind and spirit. I had missed all of the above when I was working long, wild hours. It felt great to be working on myself, my family and my home life again.
It finally all made sense, I was LUCKY to be home; LUCKY to have time for myself and my family, something so many of us take for granted or just do not have the opportunity to appreciate. I was lucky to be outside, in nature, enough to find over 40 four-leaf clovers, four-leaf clovers that I found in the beautiful green grass, under sunny blue skies and filled with lazy cottony clouds, while spending time with friends, our children, and even with my cat! Four-leaf clovers I never would have found if I had been inside working all summer.