Today is the day before I’m supposed to turn in this lovely piece, my dorm room is just as cold as always (which means freezing), I’ve yet to have breakfast and it’s ten in the morning. This month, or I guess this week really, I’ve been thinking about what I would talk about. I’ve tried to wrack my brain for a topic that really means something to me or is a really good read and to be honest I’m still clueless at this point. This month I’ve been struggling with self doubt and indecision because I’m about to reach the end of the first semester of my second year of college and even though my major and concentration are declared and I like the idea of my future career I still have days where I don’t know if I’m making the right decision for my future.I have days where I think about the future and look at my estimated college debt and I think to myself is this what I really want? Is this my dream? Am I going to be able to support myself? These questions haunt me on my days where my self doubt is so strong that doing anything is an accomplishment and I know I’m definitely not the only one who suffers from self doubt and indecision it’s something we all kind of share really.
To combat these feelings of self doubt and indecision I’ve been talking to the most supportive and honest person in my life… my mom. My mom has always been what I call my lighthouse, she leads me back to shore when I feel lost in the sea of life and she’s unflinchingly honest. When I told her I was struggling with the questions I posed earlier, she told me something that I’m going to tell all of you, she said (in essence because it was a very long conversation) “You are capable of anything you put your mind to. You are multi-talented. You have just gotta make the decision to do it.” Those little kernels of wisdom from my mother helped me realize that for the moment, I’m okay where I am at but if I decide I’m not, I’m the only person who can make the decision to change where I’m going.
If anyone out there is struggling with self doubt or indecision and is trying to figure out where you’re going in life, whether it be college, your future job or whatever, remember that you are capable of anything you just have to make the decision to do it. You have to take everything one day at a time because concentrating on what may or may not happen adds unnecessary stress to our lives and makes us forget that we have to focus on what we’re doing right now. So today, enjoy the moment for what it is, not what it isn’t. I hope this helps you guys out.