I am the noise that keeps you up at night,
Leaving your heart pounding and don’t know why.
I wait until you’re comfortable in your bed,
To release dark images into your head.
I am the reflection of emptiness in your eyes,
While you convince yourself that everything’s fine.
I am the reason that sometimes you have no feeling,
Or the flashbacks repeating, as you lay there heavy breathing.
I am the fear for your life, every time you step outside,
As you protect and save others lives.
I am the overwhelming stress that weighs on you as you rest,
That steals your happiness as your bruised heart is caged inside your chest.
I am the strength that makes you weakened,
By the calls that defeat you.
I am the treatment for P.T.S.shh, you can’t talk about this,
You have to keep a lock on the things you’ve witnessed.
I am the chains that keep you locked in your head at times,
The triggers that surround you as you close your eyes.
I am the painted smile you wear across your face,
The memories that have been replaced by the nightmares retraced.
I am the reason you want to run and hide,
The tears you shed at night, as you contemplate taking your own life.
I am the darkness that falls through the cracks,
As you carry me on your back, like a beat up backpack.
I am your feet dragging across the floor,
The “I can’t take it anymore”, and the laughter that is forced.
I am the one thing holding you back from your dreams,
And maybe you’re not so crazy as it seems, to be feeling all these things.
Remember that I am merely a product of disasters,
That I can be conquered and you are not a failure.
You are only human and you’re allowed to feel,
Don’t avoid or try to hide the pain because it’s real.
And if I could offer one bit of advice,
I am not worth the sacrifice, of the rest of your life.
I may be the biggest mountain you’ll have to climb,
But your life is worth saving if you’re willing to put up a fight.