Saying Goodbye to Guilt


Here it is… [over guilt, just looking for grace]

The guilt that you cause in others.

That isn’t love, friends. That is just a cheap shot.

It leaves people questioning if you are for them…

Guilt doesn’t even come from love.

Guilt is a coward.

If you really love someone you aren’t going to respond by harboring guilt.

Because guilt says that your loves, that they aren’t enough.

But who are we to get the final word over someone else’s life?

Who are we to say if they are enough?

People need a break, sometimes, you know.

It’s okay to need a break.

And instead of giving people a hard time when the only strength they have is to get back in bed, I want to be the kind of person that says they understand and that really means it.

I don’t want to make people feel guilty for not spending all of their time with me.

I understand that people are not mine to stow away for keeps.

I can’t hold onto people forever.

They aren’t mine.

People come and go, just as the seasons.

I choose to be for them.

I choose to love them

I choose to understand them.

And with these choices, it means, that guilt has no place.

Guilt has no place.

So the next time you find yourself questioning why someone has faded away, the next time you find yourself questioning why your loves have gone silent, don’t carve a space for guilt.

Don’t you dare…

You don’t know the battle that rages inside of them.

You probably don’t even know the pain that sits at the depths of their soul.

Because they are the kind of person that doesn’t want to be a burden and here you are, acting out selfishly, making them feel like their break somehow caused you pain, when all they wanted to do was shelter you from their burdens. They didn’t want to cause you any harm.

But when you carve a place for guilt. You know what that does…it causes the person you love to want to give in, to give up for good.

Whether you were jokingly trying to get that person to say that they loved you, that all was well, that they were going to try harder to be there. It causes pain.

Guilt causes people to shut up.

Guilt causes people to lie down.

It doesn’t get embraced with ease; it’s not a quick fix for relationships.

It’s actually the contrary.

Guilt leaves no room for grace.

And grace, my friends, grace is what keeps us here.

I sailed the seas of life with guilt for twenty-seven years. I made that choice.

But now, I refuse to make a home for guilt.

And now, I realize that love isn’t guilt-causing. Love is redeeming.

And to the ones that set out to settle down for the long-haul, always reaching for guilt, I’m going to be quite honest and tell you, I can’t handle guilty love, anymore.

I’m fragile and I’m in need of people who are honestly for me.

And if you aren’t, I’m going to go absent, until I can stand on my own feet and I’m going to surround myself with truth-speakers and deep lovers. I am going to look for loves who are promise-keepers and who understand when my heavy heart needs a break.

Breaks don’t mean you don’t love your loves, anymore. Breaks mean that as a weak, fragile human you recognize that you have reached the breaking point and that there is no turning back.

You need a break and your true loves will understand, others will fade out of the picture, but that’s okay. You just need a faithful few to keep you standing, because with God, it is enough.

With God, there is no guilt, there’s only room for grace.

and that is the way it should be, loves, just room for grace.

Photo Source: Kristen Main

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