Three months into the year and I’ve already gone through a handful of life changing events. I feel like it’s already the middle of the year; however, only a fourth of the year has gone by. Going into the new year I made some resolutions, and some peace with myself, but more importantly I didn’t think I’d get into a relationship.
I’ve been seeing this guy for about three months, but he has only been my boyfriend for about a month. I like to take things slow and easy, and when it comes to my love life I’m a super private person. I’m a relatively open person when it comes to my writing — especially for Open Our Eyes. I love to share my experiences and the obstacles I overcome in hopes to help others because I know I’m in no way the only person who has gone through these things. Life happens. As I was saying, I’ve been seeing this guy for about three months and recently he shared some things with me. One thing in particular he shared with me is he lied about his age. Sounds kind of weird right? It’s a common thing to do. This is something I’d like to address because from the beginning I told him that I have a hard time trusting people, and you can’t have a solid foundation without trust.
When he told me I was a little disturbed, and here’s why. This lie started when he was younger, he was a compulsive liar. That’s when red flags for me went off. Where does the lying begin, and where does it stop? I know you can get help for being a compulsive liar but more importantly, I found myself thinking “what if he’s lying about this?”. I let him know how I felt, and our relationship was set back. Granted it sounds a little ridiculous, but I’m trying to cushion the blow in the case I get hurt, because frankly I don’t want to, and I know that I will (eventually). How am I supposed to get intimate with someone if they’re lying? I genuinely get sick to my stomach when someone lies to me. I’d very much rather half the truth over anything. Another thing about my relationship with him is that he wanted to become Facebook official, and I kept saying no because why does the internet need to know we’re dating (not that I’m embarrassed of dating him). Once we finally became Facebook official he came out and told me he lied, and I suddenly felt trapped. I officially couldn’t back out of this relationship if I wanted to (not that I do). I shouldn’t have had to feel trapped — no one should ever feel trapped in a relationship.
After he told me it was hard to talk to him, but fast-forwarding to now I feel easy. I feel okay now. I did say I find myself thinking is he lying about this, or that. I’m trying to get myself out of this phase. I don’t like it and moving forward is the only thing I can do. I talked to my close friends about it, and they wonder the same thing. Where does the lying begin, or where does it stop? I do forgive him because this lie occurred years ago, and I was always told to forgive the ones you care the most about. I do care about him. I care about him a lot actually even though we’ve been seeing one another for about three months. Time will pass, and until then I’m going to enjoy the most of this.