“You Think You Can Do These Things, But You Cant, Nemo!”

Recently, I was diagnosed with some rather daunting heart problems. Since then, my life has seemed to go on without me, as if I am an onlooker in some dark theater, somewhere across the country. At the end of this movie I will wipe my tears and throw out my popcorn.
Despite the surreal-ness of being informed of my 17-year-old expiration date, this finding has brought me a strange sort of peace. At this point I am still fighting, attempting to maintain some normalcy, but just like a storm, I can feel the calm on the horizon. I can feel myself giving in to the reality of my fate. I am not surrendering; I am choosing that peace and the happiness that results. I am choosing to focus on making sure all those I have loved know I love them, and all those I am grateful for know their priceless worth to me.
With my pending fate wavering just beyond sight, I have continued with things already planned. Needless to say, touring potential colleges has developed a slightly sardonic undertone and being sidelined from all the sports that used to occupy my weekends is quickly getting old. I have selected to replace the sound of people telling me I can’t do things with the dialogue from the scene in Nemo, “you think you can do these things, but you can’t Nemo!” People who don’t know what’s happening are becoming more fun to be around, but word spreads fast and those are growing few and far between.
Regardless, I believe in reincarnation, and for all those who have helped to keep my spirits high, I will come back as a dog or cat (I hope) and I will bring them socks, and shoes, and dead bugs every day to show them my gratitude. Until then, I will use my words; I am grateful for those who have loved and cared for me, I am grateful for those who have smiled infectiously, I am grateful for every day, every way, and every second I have left.

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