Nothing in my life has ever been constant; I’ve moved from place to place, had a few boyfriends, been married (now divorced), and even had more jobs than I can count. The only exception is music. Music is my rock; it has seen me through so many happy times, and even more hard times. I honestly don’t know what I would do without it. I can’t go too long without music; not having music leads me to think, and thinking leads to me sinking into a deep depression.
When I was young, my mom would always put me to sleep with classical music on. I could never sleep without it, and to this day I still sometimes can’t. Classical had always been the most calming soothing music; pair it with the sounds of the ocean, and you’ve found my weakness. Sitting at the beach and listening to the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore while classical music plays in the background is like attending a concert just for me.
Speaking of concerts, the first concert I remember wasn’t really a concert; it was a band playing at the campground my family and I were staying at. Though I’ve never been a big fan of Bluegrass music, something about it that day was really magical. The notes were drifting on the wind, floating to our ears, and then playfully flitting away as us kids ran around playing tag. I don’t think I noticed the music too much, but I do remember how soothing it was.
I’ve been to roughly around 10-15 concerts, but I don’t think I will be able to attend more. I have social anxiety and can’t be in big crowds; I start to feel trapped and will feel like the walls are closing in. I did go to a concert once, though, where I stood right at the stage and didn’t see the people behind me, so I didn’t feel that trapped once the music began. My anxiety has gotten worse since then, so I won’t be attending any big concerts any time soon. But, maybe if the music is just right, I’ll feel like a kid again and be able to run free.