19 Things I’ve learned in My First Year of Marriage


1 year ago on September 19,2015 I married my best friend and teammate in life. The wedding was magical, but life after the honeymoon has presented us with a lot of struggles. From moving away from home for the first time, living in a new state, starting new job, all the way to a cancer diagnosis; the first year of marriage has been nothing short of eventful. My husband and I agree that this year’s motto for us is expect the unexpected, and although we have had our share of struggles we both feel that our relationship has grown deeper because of it. I’m far from a professional, and will happily own up to the fact that I’ve made more mistakes in my first year of marriage then I ever thought possible, but incase you’re curious here are 19 things I’ve learned in our first year of matrimony. Can you guess why 19? 😉


  1. Marriage is a learning experience; you learn a lot about yourself and your partner no matter how long you’ve known them prior to getting married.


  1. There will always be some things you just don’t agree on; decide what’s worth arguing over and what’s not.


  1. Life doesn’t get put on pause when your happily ever after starts; things still happen and they will test your relationship.


  1. When you’re arguing with your partner grab their hand; it has an amazing way of grounding you.


  1. Comparing your relationship to others is a no no; nothing good happens when you’re too busy looking over the fence.


  1. Keep dating; there will always be new things to discover about your partner, enjoy learning and growing with them each day.


  1. Give your partner time to be with their friends without you there; no matter how close you are, they need that time to foster the other relationships in their lives.


  1. Your marriage is a priority and is sacred; treat it that way.


  1. Be careful of taking advice from others on your marriage; seeking guidance is never a bad thing, but ultimately you will know what is best for your relationship.


  1. Remember the world is full of people who will tear you down if given the opportunity; don’t be one of them. Treat your partner with the upmost respect the way you’d treat a friend.


  1. When bad things happen it’s easy to point blame. Don’t; remember you’re on the same team.


  1. Consistently pursue your partner; it’s hard for a relationship to go stale when you do.


  1. Laugh and be spontaneous; there will always be time for grown-up stuff, enjoy small moments in this season of life.


  1. Communication and compromise is key. Without these two things marriage wouldn’t exist.


  1. Be comfortable with the fact that marriage is always a work in progress. No on has a perfect relationship no matter what their Instagram feed says.


  1. Nit picking gets you nowhere (trust me on this one). A person once told me that if something really bothers me to just do it myself; complaining doesn’t help. There will always be things your partner does that you don’t like. There’s nothing wrong about discussing discrepancies, but life is short and if his shirt happens to land next to the laundry basket instead of in it, will it ruin your life?


  1. Check-in with each other. For us it’s on Sundays and we call it the questions game. See how the other person is feeling; what struggles have they had, are there things they’d like us to work on, what are their goals for the week?


  1. Celebrate each other’s different interests and invest time in getting to know what your partner likes to do. My husband loves the Cubs, and although I don’t love baseball I make an effort to go to a game with him or sport some Cubbies gear with him.


  1. Create a safe space for each other. Throw judgments aside and let the other person share their fears, dreams and desires. Again, we may not agree on everything but my job as a wife is to support and encourage my husband; even if I don’t agree with every little thing.


Andrew Jade Photography

One comment on “19 Things I’ve learned in My First Year of Marriage

  1. Great tips. I hope I’ll be able to use them one day. Although I think I don’t have to wait till I get married to use them. I especially like the one about grabbing your partner’s hand to become grounded. I experienced that hugging with him while I’m angry or raging really calms me down. And yes, laundry isn’t worth risking your relationship for.

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