Facing Fears

   It’s October, which means Fall has arrived with its cooler weather and Halloween is right around the corner. When I think of Halloween, I think of candy, babies in cute costumes and your stereotypical scary things. As someone who hates being scared, I’m not a big fan of the scary part of Halloween. This may be because I don’t have the stomach for gore but my love of action movies would suggest otherwise. Maybe it’s because scary movies are all cliche but that’s not exactly it… I think the real reason I don’t like scary things is because in order to be scared you must face a fear, which is hard for me to do. I’m scared of a lot of things, I’m afraid of spiders, snakes, creepy men (like any smart woman who watches crime shows on tv) and a myriad of other things, but at the top of my list and the most terrifying is failure. Failure is my biggest fear, I know very anti-climatic but it’s true. I have always been one who must succeed in every venture they try or at the very least give it my all.

   Academically, I’ve always been terrified of failure because I’ve always had an eye on my future since I was a small child. Now that I’m in my third year of college I always feel like it’s becoming even more apparent that I have fewer answers to the questions I have about my future. Will my degree be put to good use? Will I find a job after college? Will I find a job I love? Will I be successful? Will I fail? So to put it mildly my biggest fear is currently looming, waiting for a definitive answer. I honestly don’t have one yet but I don’t think that I’m supposed to have all the answers at 20. One day I might be able to answer the questions about knowing life but it’ll be a while. So, to everyone facing the fear of failure I can only say, keep facing it, because there is no simple way to get rid of it.

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