For the Love of Tattooing: Carrie

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Describe yourself in one word. The first one that comes to mind, and has for quite a few years, is damaged. The meaning has changed throughout said years. Originally, when I got this inked, which is the same design off a painting I did during a very dark part of the aftermath of a break up, was that I was too damaged to be loved, or to love. That years of sexual and emotional abuse; Of being in controlling relationships, both romantic and platonic. Of being codependent on my addict mother; losing my mother not to the addiction but because of the addiction. So many different things. They all ended with me feeling broken, beaten down, and many times thinking of surrendering to the sweet seduction of suicide. The promises your mind tells you that they will be better off without you, happier. You won’t bring them down anymore. They won’t have to worry about you. Somehow, whether it was due to friendships, to God,  the Goddess, or just me, I got through it. And came out the other side of it with the knowledge that yes, I am damaged. But I’m not broken, I am worthy of love, and I do love with every single ounce of my being. Now, it does take a special kind of person to be able to look at the cracks, the bumps, the patches, and sewn up places and love me in spite of all of it, but everyday I can look at this piece and know, yes. I am damaged. But I am not broken.


For the Love of Tattooing is a project in collaboration with Serpents of Bienville

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